i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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