Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
