im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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