well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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