you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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