i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
