It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
