Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
