just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
