if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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