Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My vagina is officially offended.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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