So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
