In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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