he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
