all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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