does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
