I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
