Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
