but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
