But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
