Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
