Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
