I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We had sex on a dog bed..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
