I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
