NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize