Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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