i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize