I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
