he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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