she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
