i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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