you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
