Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Mom said you looked used
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize