"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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