u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
