Ambien. No doubt about it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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