that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
