I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You work out of a Hotel?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
