My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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