I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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