Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
