Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
