Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
