Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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