i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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