...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize