Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
