I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
