i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
