did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
