..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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