dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
