The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
