The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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