Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
