Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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