the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
