Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
