I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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