Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
