So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
