so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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