I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
