Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
