HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize