I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
